Five days ago, my youngest started to not feel well. She, like my oldest and myself has an autoimmune disorder. Hers is newly diagnosed and while she hasn’t had too many symptoms from it [lupus] she also has fibromyalgia and scoliosis, which can leave her feeling kind of crummy and achy. Her symptoms were vague and we chalked them up to chronic illness and being run down. However, on the third day when she came home from work and told me that the previous night, she’d been running a temperature, my heart seized with fear and I knew it was more than just a chronic illness flare up in combination with her symptoms. She went to the clinic and tested positive for COVID-19.
She has been quarantined to her room. Her sister, whom she shares tht room with, has been moved to my bedroom during the day and on the couch at night when I try to sleep in my bedroom at night. It’s been complicated because during all this we’ve had other issues going on.
We have an older dog who just recently tore his ACL on his back, rear hind leg and then a few days later partially tore the right leg. We’ve been acting as a trauma unit and a day care center for our dog and trying to manage keeping him and our puppy separated, which has not been an easy task. By the way, if any of my lovely readers know of any ingenious ways to keep an 8-month-old puppy busy while in quarantine, while having to be separated from an injured dog, and keeping said injured dog busy and entertained while he can’t move around, I’m all ears! This has been brutal.
I feel like when my husband goes on deployment that everything that can go wrong does go wrong and that this particular deployment has been the king of all deployments when it comes to things breaking, falling apart, people getting sick and things going wrong. I knew in my head with 3 working children that if someone were to be exposed to COVID at work, it was only a matter of time before one of my kids got sick. And should they get sick, then my chances of getting sick is exponentially higher. I don’t have a lot of places to hide in my house.
It’s been a day since I started writing this and I’ve tested positive. No surprise. My head hurts, my body hurts, and I’m exhausted on top of the normal exhaustion I feel as a chronic illness patient. I can’t even describe it. And the head pain. Like the worst migraine ever that just won’t go away and only sleep relieves it. My asthma has been wonky and I’ve been coughing but so far, aside from a little wheezing, lungs are clear on x-ray. Now, it’s just a matter of time and patience in the healing department and worry that I’m going to have some long-term effects because of my chronic illness. You keeping hearing about these “long-haulers” and I worry that this illness will leave an impression on me. I worry because of my vulnerability. Chronic illness has already scarred my body in so many ways; gouged out deep marks leaving me to never be the same again. It’s a heavy burden and because there’s so little that we know about COVID, I can’t help but worry about my future. What I do know, is when that vaccine comes out, I’m going to be first in line so there’s no chance of getting this again.
To those of you out there still fighting the fight, be vigilant! Wear your mask, wash your hands, protect your love ones. But if you do get sick don’t despair. My daughter felt very guilty when I got sick, as though it was her fault. Once this virus infiltrates your household it’s game-over. Everyone is exposed. Not everyone may succumb to getting sick, but everyone is exposed. This virus is everywhere and you can’t predict who you might come into contact with, where. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just the virus’ fault. Be safe.
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