Chronic Diva

I’m a mess right now.

My husband and I were finally able to get our Covid vaccines. I had been apprehensive about it because I already had Covid, and was worried about the side effects. Also, because I have Crohn’s, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Fibromyalgia, I worried my immune system would overreact to the injection.

Day 3 Post Injection? I feel like hell. It started with the Covid headache (which was very familiar to me) and blossomed into a migraine. The aches and soreness all over my body evolved to a full-on flare. My worst fears about the vaccine come to fruition.

So, this post is two-fold. 1.) No matter the side effects from the vaccine, if you are able to get it, please, please, please, get the vaccine. I know some people can’t for health reasons, but that is why it is so important for everyone else to get vaccinated. 2.) If you are currently in the midst of a flare, I know that you are suffering and I hear you. But you need to remember that you are stronger than you feel right now.

I know, it’s easy enough to tell someone they are stronger than how they might be feeling at that moment, and even if they understand what you might be going through, they are not you. But you have the strength and even if you don’t know why, you are here for a reason. I truly believe that we all serve a purpose in this universe and even though it might not be revealed to you in this life why you are here and what purpose you served, you will understand in the next. There are so many people in this world, and all of our energy touches one another, and sometimes we can touch people in a way that saves them and we may never know.

Chronic illness and pain can sap us of our strength, leaving us feeling like we don’t have anything else. It robs us of our joy and narrows our world down to grim shades of loneliness. I’ve been there and I’ve been sucked into that hollow vortex of lies that the miserable symptoms of a flare can inspire. Don’t give in. You have so much to offer this world and so much to give to other people. I know that not everyone can share in blogs, but keeping a personal diary or personal blog that is set on private can be very helpful and therapeutic. You can sometimes see when you are veering off into a place that isn’t good for your mental health when you are writing and most of all you can see the evolution of your progress when you are writing for along period of time. It’s incredibly helpful and positive to see where you started and in 6 months, see how much you have improved.

If you are in the midst of a flare, remember to take care of yourself. There’s no lazy, or hopeless, or somehow being unworthy, when it comes to taking care of yourself, taking the time to rest when you need to, not cleaning or cooking and enlisting help; don’t feel guilty for putting off that shower or taking a nap after showering, don’t listen to people who may criticize what you are doing, because if they aren’t in your shoes than they have no business telling you how you should be living your life. Don’t be sorry for doing things to take care of you. End of story. We only have one life, and in the brief time we are here we need to do things that help make us feel better. Be good to yourself.