Stop Blaming Yourself

Oy. If I had a dollar for every time, I blamed myself for my illnesses and for passing some of them along to my children I’d be rich. No lie. I think we all do it at some point and some of do it more than others but it’s definitely not healthy. I’m a strong believer in your mind and body believing what you think and if you are actively blaming yourself, I think that your mind will eventually believe it and that is not good. You are not responsible for an illness that was never your fault to begin with.

  • Compassion: Yes, you heard me correctly. You need to have a little compassion for yourself. It might be easy to feel compassion for others but, somewhere along the line you stopped feeling it for yourself. Take a deep breath inward and remember you are human too. Remember that your illness isn’t something you asked for and that you deserve compassion from the person that matters most, yourself.
  • Mindfulness: There’s recently been an influx of talk about mindfulness. In the media, commercials, everyone is talking about it and they should be. I believe we become better people when adopt a mindful attitude, especially with ourselves. How do we adopt mindfulness? I think slowing down is important. Our days can be cluttered with appointments, kids, significant other and work that we forget about ourselves. Being grateful and giving back to others is important too. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how bad our illness is that we forget about what we have in our life that makes it worth living. We forget about the things that make us happy and it’s important to stop, take a breath and remember those things that give us purpose. Contributing back to the community can help us be mindful of what we have. Volunteering is a great way to help your mindfulness activity and you can volunteer just about anywhere doing anything, even from home.
  • Meditation: This works hand in hand with mindfulness. Quieting your mind, which can be a very busy place, and where you can adopt a whole slew of self-loathing and contempt for your illness, can be quieted and pushed away by practicing meditation. It can be small at first. No one goes into meditation for long periods of time without some serious training! My favourite methods of meditation that I have taught my children is the candle technique, where you look at a candle and watch the flicker of the fame and just try to focus on it. I don’t believe in clearing the mind because we are always going to have something in here. It’s human nature to think and we don’t have an on-off switch. I think if you find yourself thinking about the same things over and over again pick one and try to figure out in your head why it’s so important. Music meditation is something I do. Listening to music is a favourite hobby of mine and there’s a running joke here that every song is my favourite song because I say it so often. Listen to your favourite music and try and relax. I wouldn’t listen to Ozzy Osbourne or Marilyn Manson here. Great music but a little too much for this activity. Listen to the music and meditate on your day or your illness if that is what is predominantly on your mind. Try to figure out why these thoughts are bothering you. I also incorporate a mantra. Write down a positive mantra, and you can find them online or make up one on your own that helps you feel positive about yourself and helps you to feel strong. Repeat this mantra when you are meditating. When you say things enough times, you begin to believe them. Believe that you are not at fault for your illness. No one asked to be sick.

Some people recommend exercise. I don’t have it in my list because not everyone can, but- if you can do some activity that helps you relax, where you can tell yourself that mantra you have chosen, go for it. Yoga is something that is beneficial and that you can do low impact and even from bed. Seriously. I have found some yoga exercises and sequences that you can do right from your bed. If you just can’t, find something else. Colouring or doing some kind of artistic craft can be very beneficial for your mind and soul and I believe you can make just about any calming activity into a meditation period by just being at peace, saying that mantra and relaxing yourself in your art as much as you can. If you get diverted by other thoughts try to figure out why those interrupted the moment. Then, get back on track.

My final word: Don’t blame yourself for something that was never your fault to begin with. Illness is never something anyone should be saddled with guilt over. Especially long-term illness. It just is. You can think of it as fate if you want, the cards you were dealt, but it is not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.

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The Importance of Platform

 

And How You Use It

 

In recent days there’s been quite a lot of buzz in the media and social media surrounding the President and his coronavirus briefing. There’s been those coming to the defense of the President, saying he never specifically said “inject” and then the President, himself walking back his comments implying that it was sarcasm, meant to infuriate the media and so he could observe what they would do. Before I continue, here’s a portion of what was said.

“Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light,” Mr. Trump said. “And I think you said that hasn’t been checked, but we’re going to test it?” he added, turning to Mr. Bryan, who had returned to his seat. “And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, either through the skin or some other way.”

“And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute — one minute — and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning?” he asked. “Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that.” Trump Muses About Light As Remedy

I’ve read opinions in posts circulating social media, suggesting that they are in health care and that what the President misspoke as “disinfectant” (he never said Lysol specifically…) could have meant a procedure known as lung lavage, where antibiotics and other medications can be injected into the lungs so they can be “washed,” giving the patient the ability to breathe better. It’s commonly called lung washing; “this procedure treats the rare lung disease pulmonary alveolar proteinosis (PAP).” How Lung Washing Helps Patients Breathe Again The article does say, which you can read for yourself by clicking the link, that it doesn’t work on any other lung conditions (diseases). However, they do use this technique for Pneumonia and they also use something called Bronchoalveolar lavage (BAL) (also known as bronchoalveolar washing) for Interstitial Lung Disease and COVID-19, as a diagnostic tool and therapeutically to remove mucus, improve airway ventilation, and reduce airway inflammation in conditions such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). Bronchoalveolar Lavage I’m not a pulmonary therapist; I researched this information to make sense out of what I had been hearing.

  • The first thing I learned, about the importance of your platform and how to use it, is this That the President clearly doesn’t understand the magnitude his words have on his platform and that the extent of those words goes way beyond the obvious political, “I’m King of the World,” mentality.

It’s interesting to me the debates people are having across social media and how some revolve around the semantics of how the President used the word “injection.” Some argue that he did not mean to inject something into the lungs, with, what I am presuming is a large needle. Others have zeroed in on the use of the word disinfectant, and how the President seems to conclude a relationship between the disinfectant used in a lung lavage and Lysol or Clorox (bleach) that you would disinfect your countertops with. Disinfectant Makers Steer Consumers Away from Trump’s Coronavirus Comments Still others, use a red marker to indicate that the President never used specific product names, like Lysol or Clorox and it was narcissistic on the part of these manufacturers to think the President was referring to them. But then you have the President himself, who attempts clarification of his remarks by saying,

“I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters like you just to see what would happen,” he told journalists at an event in the Oval Office. Trump Says Remarks Using Disinfectant

There were very few people arguing about the 1.) The intent of his words, 2.) The impact of his words on his, 3.) or the consequences of his words on his listeners. Every person who has a social media account and accrues followers, who have some kind of purpose for being there, be it a cause they are passionate about, a message they want to send, or maybe they’re an entertainer, model or visual artist (the list is infinite); those people have now acquired a power- an audience. We take that power for granted. It’s just social media, but it’s much more than most care to admit.

  • The second thing I learned, about the importance of your platform and how to use it, is Intent, Impact & Consequence. As a writer, it’s important to step into your words with Intent. It’s not as esoteric as it sounds. There’s no chanting involved or mystical music. The only purpose; setting intent.

If you practice yoga or mindfulness, you know a little about intent. An intention is not a goal. It’s something you want to align with your life; it’s an expectation or attitude you’d be proud to commit to. It has to come from your heart and soul. Setting intent in your writing is not much different. It’s a commitment to setting a purpose in regards to your words. Understanding that when you send your writing out into that perceived void, that it’s not that at all. It’s a space filled with living, breathing, humans who have hearts and souls like the rest of us. Intention Setting

Social media has changed our relationship with words. It’s changed how we communicate with people and how people hear our voice. In some, this change has been empowering. They have been able, through the use of their platform, bring awareness to those causes that are meaningful to them. Whether it’s money through fundraising or raising awareness of a rare disease, these voices use their platform and their voice (words) for the positive. Conversely, some people use their platform and their voice in a way that is negative.

I believe, as a writer, that my words are powerful. My words, like an artist, paints broad and delicate strokes across the canvas bringing to life a picture for my readers to see. Sometimes, this is a very literal picture. Other times, it isn’t so much a picture but emotion, that I am drenching the reader in. Sadness, loneliness, anger, happiness, anticipation, joy; all of these feelings could wash over a person in one blog post. Each word was carefully chosen to convey a feeling or meaning in my heart. Not everyone is as thoughtful and social media has become a grey space where people do not honor the living, breathing, the human being behind the screen. As we are thrust into Twitter or FaceBook (only to name a few), people feel it’s perfectly okay to express their opinion or thoughts, without any “thought” as to how it may impact anyone beyond the initial self-gratitude of getting that idea out, or those little likes people click, which can become addictive. They deny any responsibility for how their words may impact another person reading them when the first and cardinal rule of any writer (someone who writes any words to be seen by another) should be ownership of your words. If you don’t own your words then they aren’t yours to begin. You have to be prepared to go down with the sinking ship, which is why a writer should take care with words. They should be thoughtful as to the intent of their words and how it will be interpreted. A meme I’ve seen reading something like: It’s not my problem how you interpreted my words. It doesn’t work with a writer; everything you want to be heard- your only tools are your words. There’s no tone of voice, no inflexion, no facial features or hand gestures. However, it types out is how someone out there will read it and it will have an impact on that person. End of story.

  • The third thing I learned, about the importance of your platform and how to use it is how your words can Impact people you don’t know. Everything we type can have a major impact on another living, breathing human. The problem is most of the time we can’t see how our words impact people. They are sent into the ether of the internet, sometimes lost in the shuffle of all the other posts, but somewhere out there, someone is reading it and you don’t know the situation of that person.
  • The fourth thing I learned, about the importance of your platform and how to use it, is, how your words have Consequences that you must own. Most people think of consequences as negative. But everything we do, every action, has a consequence. It’s not necessarily bad, but we have to be willing to embrace the negative as much the positive.

“Sir Isaac Newton taught us that for every action in the physical world, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This principle not only applies to the physical world but in other areas of life as well.” Actions Have Consequences Every action we take produces a reaction and consequence. You yell at your friend and they start to cry. Their crying is a consequence of your yelling. You’re angry that your boyfriend cheated on you and you take to social media, not only attacking your ex’s actions but him personally and the girl he cheated on you with. What you don’t know is that the girl battles depression and that he never told her had a girlfriend. Your words have an impact on her. She plummets into depression and attempts suicide, for reasons you may not understand. It’s easy not to bear a responsibility such as this. The responsibility that your actions may have driven another person to an action that could have cost them their life, but it is your responsibility to bear. Life brings both good and bad consequences depending on our choices and it doesn’t matter if we say it on a platform and the person that is affected is 3,000 miles away and we didn’t know them. It is my opinion, my belief, that this inherent lack of understanding within humanity, is at the core of many of our problems. We have stopped viewing one another as humans who directly affect one another because of the great chasm of space the internet has created between us. Once we can take responsibility for the impact of our words, and the consequences our actions may have on other people, we may become better as a human race. We can begin this, in part, by committing to operate using these platforms with an intent that is aimed toward positivity and goodwill.

actsofkindness

 

 

 

Resources:

Broad, W. and Levin, D., 2020. Trump Muses About Light As Remedy, But Also Disinfectant, Which Is Dangerous. [online] Nytimes.com. Available at: <https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/24/health/sunlight-coronavirus-trump.html&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

Mahajan, D., 2020. Bronchoalveolar Lavage (BAL)- Procedure, Indications And Diagnostic Tests | Medcaretips.Com. [online] medcaretips.com. Available at: <https://medcaretips.com/bronchoalveolar-lavage-bal/&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

Health Essentials from Cleveland Clinic. 2020. How ‘Lung Washing’ Helps You Breathe Again. [online] Available at: <https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-lung-washing-helps-patients-breathe-again-video/&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

En.wikipedia.org. 2020. Bronchoalveolar Lavage. [online] Available at: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchoalveolar_lavage&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

Geller, M. and Stempel, J., 2020. Disinfectant Makers Steer Consumers Away From Trump’s Coronavirus Comments. [online] U.S. News. Available at: <https://www.usnews.com/news/top-news/articles/2020-04-24/lysol-maker-urges-people-not-to-inject-disinfectants-after-trump-remarks&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

Mason, J., 2020. Yahoo Is Now A Part Of Verizon Media. [online] News.yahoo.com. Available at: <https://news.yahoo.com/trump-says-remarks-using-disinfectant-170528091.html&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

Eisler, M., 2020. Intention Setting 101 – Mindful Minutes. [online] Mindful Minutes. Available at: <https://mindfulminutes.com/intention-setting-101/&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].

Hammerman, Y., 2020. Actions Have Consequences | My Jewish Learning. [online] My Jewish Learning. Available at: <https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/actions-have-consequences/&gt; [Accessed 27 April 2020].