How to Look Great and Feel Better

The LoveKarmaFood blog brings people together with chronic illness, struggling from some of those secondary issues that many of us have, with a focus on healing through food – holistically. Reach out today to find out more!

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How to Look Great and Feel Better

Are you struggling with your self-image? Do you constantly feel tired or lack motivation? Or maybe you just want to take yourself to the next level. Making changes to your physical and mental health can help you look and feel your best – and here are some suggestions from LoveKarmaFood on how to do just that.

Exercise Regularly

Work up a sweat most days of the week to feel and look better. Not only does regular exercise keep your body in top physical condition, but Insider notes that it also puts you in a happier place. Exercise ramps up your endorphins to create a positive feeling while strengthening your muscles. 

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is something everyone should practice to stay mentally healthy. Here are some self-care tasks to try:

  • Sleep. The CDC recommends getting at least 7 hours of sleep to feel rested and energized.
  • Get outdoors. Fresh air and nature views can help you feel better.
  • Find support. A professional counselor or a support group are common examples of support options, but you can also seek support to help with your setting. For instance, paying a professional landscape company to spruce up the property is a great way to improve the appearance of your home, which can give you more stress relief and boosts your overall positivity. 
  • Connect with friends. Spending time with friends can lower your stress and improve your mood.
  • Focus on gratitude. Focusing on the things you’re grateful for can give you a more positive outlook. 
  • Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves staying in the moment and taking control of your thoughts. Practice being aware of your surroundings and not rushing through moments as part of self-care.

Clean up Your Diet

What you eat impacts your overall health and how you feel. Eating lots of junk food often makes you feel sluggish. Let yourself splurge a little so you don’t feel deprived, but keep most of your diet healthy and nutrient-rich.

Set Goals

Setting goals using the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) method can boost how you feel about yourself. It gives you something to work toward and creates a sense of accomplishment. Perhaps you want to switch careers, but you don’t have the right degree. Enrolling in an online program can help you get the education you need to pursue a new path.

Try Something New

Try a new hobby or learn a new skill to improve your confidence. Hobbies give you something fun to do with your spare time, and they can provide a new perspective while enriching your life.

Keep Up With Care

Don’t wait until you have a health problem to go to the doctor. Scheduling a well-care visit yearly gives your doctor a baseline to make it easier to diagnose health issues early. Your doctor can provide customized recommendations on diet, exercise, and other factors that help you look and feel better. 

Control Stress and Anxiety

Having uncontrolled stress can leave you feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Find ways to manage stress, such as breathing exercises, visualization, yoga, and meditation. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million adults experience anxiety disorders. If anxiety is taking over your life, see how Mind Atlas’ mindfulness program can help.

Explore Your Style

Looking and feeling great can come down to your physical appearance. Explore your personality by testing different clothing and hairstyles you love. Expressing yourself through your outward appearance can help you feel confident. It’s also about feeling comfortable, so choose clothes made of quality materials that are also versatile. If you’re a new mom, for example, go with dresses, nightgowns and PJs that make nursing easier, no matter where you are. 

You Can Feel and Look Great

Taking charge of your mental and physical health helps you look and feel your best. The two go hand-in-hand. When you feel better about yourself, you live a happier life and accomplish more, getting you closer to your maximum potential.

Making Halloween Spooktacular

For the kids and you when are struggling with chronic illness

What do I mean by less spooky? No, not supernatural. Less exhausting. Less plagued by anxiety. Less painful, because being in pain can really take the fun out of Halloween and give a different  meaning to Boo. And for your teens or little ones who struggle with having a chronic illness or autoimmune disorder this can be particularly challenging.

My children and I escaped the knowledge of our having chronic illness/autoimmune disorders until we were well into adulthood. I do not envy the very difficult task of keeping little ones away from the tempting sweets and artificial colours and high fructose that can often be found in candies. Children are bombarded with the talk of Halloween several weeks before hand and there’s chattering amongst them about what costumes they will wear and what they will be doing and who is going to what house for a party. I can’t fathom the stress of a parent who wants to make the day fun, special, spooky but safe for them. This difficulty increases by ten-fold when you are dealing with children.

However, it’s not just children who want to have fun on Halloween, it’s the teens and adults. Don’t worry, I have tips for everyone to make this Halloween Spook-tacular!

  • Find a Trunk-or-Treat: During trunk or treat events adults decorate the back of their cars for Halloween, load up on candy, and come sit in a parking lot for kids to “trick or treat” from car-to-car. It’s like a tail-gate with candy and costumes and the kids have an absolute blast. I’ve heard of trunk-or-treat events where kids show up by the hundreds. Parents typically have to reserve a parking lot or at least make sure they can use it for the event if it’s private property and you just hand out treats to the kids. This great for parents who struggle with chronic illness and kids who are fighting it too. For example, if your child is food sensitive, or you are doing your best to keep them from candies and store bought sweet treats, get a group of friends together with the same problems and have a trunk-or-treat with them. You know your child is safe then. This is also an easy and wise choice if your child can’t keep up with going around the neighbourhood but they still want to go out.https://www.ptotoday.com/pto-today-articles/article/6287-how-to-organize-a-trunk-or-treat
  • Pace yourself: This is for both of you. Don’t leave things for the last minute, however you decide to celebrate Halloween. Even giving yourself a week is better than leaving it until the last minute. Your body will thank you. This goes for your child too. And remember that goes for Christmas and putting up the tree on Christmas Eve. Decorating the night before might seem like a nostalgic tradition, but your body will think it’s torture and scream at you.https://www.yahoo.com/now/taking-holidays-day-day-spoonie-232047353.html
  • Stay home: If this is an option for you, make it an event. Like-wise, if this is an option for your teen or even your little one, don’t let it go by just being another day. Halloween is about the magic as well as the spookiness. Dress up in costumes, pass out candy to the kids, watch scary movies and have tasty snacks.
  • No Pressure: The best thing to do with an older child is to do your best to help them not feel pressured into doing something everyone else is doing. I know, I could feel the eye-rolling from here. But it’s easier than it sounds with Halloween than other things. Give them options. Fun options and they will be more willing to take it easy. But if they don’t, comfort them and help them use it as a learning moment.

September is Chronic Pain Awareness Month

Credit: Inktastic

Chronic Pain: is an unpleasant pain that persists for three months or longer. It is different from Acute Pain: which comes on suddenly and usually results from an injury and can be treated. Chronic Pain may be related to several different medical conditions and more often than not, cannot be cured- only managed.

The list that follows is not comprehensive by any means, but here are some medical conditions that can cause chronic pain.

Arthritis & joint problems (Rheumatoid arthritis, Psoriatic arthritis, Ankylosing spondylitis)

Migraine headaches

Back pain (spine & hip issues)

Fibromyalgia

Neuropathy and other nerve-related issues

Lyme Disease

IBD (including Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis)

Endometriosis

Cancer

Postsurgical pain

Multiple Sclerosis

Myofascial Pain Syndrome

Trigeminal Neuralgia

Diagnosing Chronic Pain

Credit: The Blue Diamond Gallery

To be diagnosed with chronic pain you may need one of the following:

CT(computer imaging topography) is a powerful X-ray that makes detailed pictures inside your body.

MRI or magnetic resonance imaging. It uses magnets and radio waves to make pictures of organs and structures inside you.

X-ray uses radiation in low doses to make images of structures in your body.

Sometimes, it takes several doctors to diagnose chronic pain and you may have to conduct one or more of these tests several times before you receive the right diagnosis and can move on to treatment.

Treatment

As for treatment, there are many ways that doctors can tackle chronic pain to make a person more comfortable.

They may use transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation, or a TENs unit, applies to the affected area.

Breathing and meditation techniques.

Biofeedback

Nerve blocks

Spinal cord stimulation

Pain meds like NSAIDs, muscle relaxers, anti-depressants, anti-seizure meds, and opioids.

Surgery to treat the conditions that caused the pain.

Life with Chronic Pain

Living with chronic pain may be the most challenging part after diagnosis. There may be feelings of loneliness; feelings like you are suffering alone and that there is no one out there who understands you or what you are going through. You may find that you aren’t able to keep up with chores like you once did and you either have to learn to let things go for when you are having a good pain day and can do it on your own or, you may have to enlist the help of some family members or even an outside source. Some of your friends may not understand when you have to cancel engagements because you are dealing with more pain than usual and you may end up finding who your true friends are. Work may become increasingly more difficult and you may have to consider going part-time or perhaps changing your profession, or maybe going back to school. Some days might be more painful than others; you may need a walking aid or a wheelchair and other days you may be able to go out and do your errands or gardening or even running. This does not make your pain fake or diminish it any way. Pain patients experience good days where their functional ability may fluctuate.

Life with chronic pain is difficult and you may have to adapt quite a bit during the course as things change in your life. You need to maintain hope even when things feel hopeless. There are still many things in this life to live for and many joys to be had, even while battling chronic pain. A support system is incredibly important and even though you may not be able to get out and be with people, the internet can be used for good and fill in that social gap. There are many communities across the internet, including Twitter and Instagram, where you can meet people who are in very similar situations and can understand what you are going through. Having these communities can boost your morale, give you something to live for and remind you that you aren’t alone in this world which can mean so much. Chronic pain can affect your mental health, so it is important to keep engaged and on to hope. If you find you are having difficulties and having suicidal thoughts, please contact someone you trust and let them know or reach out to National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English & Spanish.

800.273.8255

The Demoralization of Not Working

I stopped working almost two years ago now. I had been working for the school district for a before-and-after school care program. It was a pretty good gig at the time. It paid well and while I had to be at the elementary school at an un-Godly hour, I was done at 8:15 and didn’t have to come back until 3pm and I liked the kids. It wasn’t day-care and the kids were always engaged in an activity and I really enjoyed it. My reason for leaving was surgery. I had sacro-iliac joint fusion and not only was it a painful recovery, but I did not have the success with it I was hoping for. My reason for not returning was in-part because of the less than satisfactory result of surgery, and because of the nightmare that my chronic illnesses had become and the pain I was in and still am in.

I decided to move forward with disability and (at least in my state) I could not be working while trying for disability. Two years later, and a lawyer involved on my behalf, I still am waiting on a hearing date and have not worked. Making the decision not to work was not an easy one. I think that even those closest to me may think it was the easiest decision in the world, but it wasn’t. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make and I’ve made some pretty tough decisions. Having a job is not only something that provides for your family, but also makes you feel like you are a capable and functioning adult. When you have to decide that you can’t work, not only are you cutting out a paycheck that helps your family live better, you are cutting out something that makes you feel independent and complete.

I deal with a lot of guilt over my decision to quit working because of my health. I see how my husband has to pick up the slack and how hard he works so we don’t feel the impact of my not working as harshly. Still, when life happens and we are faced with unusual expenses like when one of our dogs became extremely and suddenly ill, that absence of a paycheck is acutely felt. It’s not just guilts about the lack of a second income, it’s guilt about not doing my part. I have two parents who worked extremely hard all throughout their lives well past the average age for retirement so they could live comfortably and because all they’ve known is work and if they were hale enough to work, why stop? I think retirement was hardest for my dad and even know he keeps himself busy at 81 years old and volunteers at the local hospital in their ICU. I am 44 years old and looking at disability and feeling like crap because I don’t feel like I am doing my part.

Not working has a unique way in demoralizing you. There are simply so many things attached to having a job or career. Self-esteem and independence and pride you feel when you do well at your job, a paycheck that is yours and that you can spend as you see fit, and the benefits that come with a job that can help to secure a comfortable future when you do retire. Not working at 44 years of age brings skeptical looks from people as well as pity. “Oh, you poor thing.” Or “Isn’t that a shame.” My favorite, “At least you’re married.” I feel as though I am no longer ranked among the adults of my age. I am an adult, sure, but an adult that has to be taken care of. I am a burden on those that I love. And don’t think I haven’t considered some very frightening possibilities, like what happens if something befalls my husband? Would I have to rely on my daughters to help me live? Would I be forced to work despite all my issues and would I be able to keep a job or would I be jumping from job to job because I get fired because I am sick? It’s humiliating and keeps me up sometimes worrying.

As I said earlier, the decision not to work anymore and seek disability was not easily made. I looked at every issue that I struggle with on a daily basis and the many jobs that might be available to me, with my education and skills and determined that the unpredictability of a couple of my issues alone makes it extremely difficult to be relied on as an employee. Debilitating migraines that come on suddenly and cripple me for anything else but laying in a dark room and praying that it will pass quickly. The IBS-d that doctors can’t treat effectively because I take opioids and so every couple of weeks I am in agony and running to the bathroom. The seizures I have, that even though I am on meds I still have absent seizures that make it dangerous to drive. The pain I am in daily, whether it is all over my body because of the fibromyalgia or specific to joints because of the RA make my life unpredictable and makes simple things like getting out of bed hard, never mind going to a job for 8-hours a day. The opioids I take for the pain which make me a risk on the road and dull my mental acuity. There is nothing I can do for long periods of time that don’t cause me pain. Standing, sitting, walking and even laying down for too long hurts. I am at risk for falling because I have balance issues and I use a cane for both balance and because my SI-joint hurts all the time. All of these factors and more were brought into consideration when I decided I just can’t work. The more? Looking at it from an employer’s point of view. Who would want to hire me? And if they did hire me how long would I last before “reasonable accommodations” became tiresome and before my absences became something they could not overlook anymore? I don’t think it would take long. Employers kind of like hiring reliable people. I am the antithesis of reliable.

I suppose my final thought would be extended to those who are able to work, to not look at those of us who can’t with disdain. We’re not being lazy. We’re not sitting around at home all day eating bon-bons. Chances are that we feel horrible about not being able to work. Chances are that we feel extremely guilty that our partner is out there working every day and we can’t help. We make a great effort to do what we can at home so that we can feel useful but it will never compare to going out there day-after-day and working, sometimes over-time and holidays to make up for the other partner needing to stay home. And understand that we are grateful. That we understand the great sacrifice of our partner has made so that we can be home. Staying home is tough.

Tips and Tricks to Fight the Fog

Let me begin with a brief story. Some of the details are changed because I can’t remember clearly, but here is the gist. I was looking over what to cook for supper and realized that I needed some chicken out from the deep freezer we have in the garage. It goes something like this: “Hey! Could one of you go into the [draws blank] the…uhm…[insert expletive] that white thing, you know, in the garage…it keeps the food cold?” Children reply, looking at me like I lost my mind: “The freezer, Mom?” YES! Freezer! Why couldn’t I think of that? This is my life. And my brain fog seems to be word related which I find amusing because writing is what I do. It does stretch out to other things. Sometimes it’s just a general fogginess or feeling like trying to access anything is like running through pea soup.

Brain Fog: often described as feelings of mental confusion or lack of mental clarity. Quite literally, it can feel like your brain is submerged in that thick, soupy mix that makes it difficult to drive home in, only it’s your brain. It is a symptom that is common in many auto-immune disorders and is by far, the most frustrating. It’s a symptom that is not addressed by doctors which often leads us, the patients, feeling like we are going a little crazy and pushes us in search of others who are experiencing it. It is here, we learn of tips and tricks to combat this most frustrating symptom. Let me share with you a few I have found most helpful. Not all may work for you, but it might be a jumping off point to giving you some ideas that would work for you.

13 Tips and Tricks to Beat Brain Fog

Don’t Trust Your Brain: I know that sounds ridiculous but I don’t mean for everything. What I mean is when you go to the grocery store to pick up those five items you really need, don’t trust your brain to remember because I promise you it won’t. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but your brain is not the efficient, infallible machine it used to be. Just accept it and move on. It doesn’t make you less of a person It just makes you human and all humans eventually encounter a struggle with memory. The sooner you accept it the better you will feel about yourself, especially when you use some of these tips and tricks.

List! List! List!: Grocery list, Things to do list, random lists of any ideas you might have for any project you want to get to, lists!  I love lists. It is a simple way to keep track of things that doesn’t take a lot of time or effort. The only problem is if you get distracted and forget to put it on the list. This has happened to me before. The only way I know to combat that is writing it down when you think about it. I’ve had to tell people to leave me be for a few minutes so I could write it down right then and there. There’s nothing like staring at a list of let’s say, items you need to bake a cheesecake and knowing you are missing one thing but can’t recall what that one thing was. Maddening is what it is.

Post-it Notes: Something a little easier is the old-fashioned post-it. I love them because they are small and they can stick virtually anywhere. If I am writing and my mom calls me and I can’t break away because I know if I do I won’t remember what the heck I was doing, bam! Post-it note: Call mom! I’ve even gotten to using One Notes too, which is great, but I’m pretty slow in techie related stuff and I am very tactile so there is something for me, about the act of writing and where I am sticking the note, that I will recall everything better. Whatever helps!

Planners:  Sadly, planners are not my thing. But they can be help to some people and therefore I included it. Maybe I just haven’t found my perfect planner yet? We do use Time Tree App as a family, which is a planner. Pretty basic in terms of planners but it helps everyone in the family know where everyone is going to be at a given time. This is huge because there are times I need someone to take me to the doctor or someone to pick up a sibling and know I know where everyone is. If you are managing a family and sinking into the chaos that can be when having kids and activities, give this app a try!

White Board: Yes. The infamous white board that you see as part of Dorm Room Must-Haves. It’s okay to have in your 30’s or 40’s or older. I promise no one will judge and if they do, who cares! I have been utilizing the white board since my 20’s when my kids were younger. I have a huge one in my kitchen where everything from Chores for the Day, Things I Need, and Random Notes gets slapped on there. I keep the dry-erase markers in a draw right next to where it’s hung up and sometimes even very random thoughts get written on there because it’s so handy. It is by far my most favorite item on this list. If you don’t like white boards, I know they have really cool chalk boards too! Easy DIY frame up and you have something sweet to hang up wherever you are inclined that will help you keep things together.

Memory Book: This isn’t your arts-n-crafts type of memory book, but you could definitely decorate it if you want to. It’s where you write down anything you think you might forget, however you want to write it down. So, if you’re a bullet point kind of person, go crazy! You write things like: Oct. 22 Put my keys on the shelf because I have to go out and pick up Bobby from band practice in an hour. That way you aren’t like me, and you are hearing the chime of the clock saying you have to go, and you can’t find your keys. And it works for anything. Have a meeting? Jot it down? Need to pick up eggs? Write it down? Hiding those holiday presents early, so no one will find them, including you three months later? Write it down. It can be as much or as little as you want, and as decorative as you want.

Routine: This can be difficult if you aren’t a routine sort of person. And let’s face it, not all of us are. My husband very routine oriented. His wallet and keys go in the same spot. He goes to bed at the same time. Gets up at the same time. He is a well-oiled machine and it makes me jealous. Me: It depends. I have a skeleton outline of a routine, but there is nothing set in stone. I blame my chronic illness, but maybe it’s me. I’m not the kind of girl who just decides to see a movie on a week-day because I can, because there are too many variables health-wise, but I don’t have a rigid writing schedule or work schedule or anything schedule. About the only thing that is set in stone is dinner, and guess why that is! If it works for you, great! It can help with some of the memory issues, like if you forget where you put your keys or tennis shoes, but for me, other than that it just doesn’t work.

Sleep: Here is another that you shouldn’t go crazy over if you can’t do it, but having a set time to go to bed and set time to wake up where you are getting your allotted 8-10 hours of sleep, is great for you and your brain fog if you can manage it. Me, on the other hand, I have begun telling people I am on Cthulhu time. Or possibly on Australian time zone. I never know when I might go to sleep, though I tend to wake up early no matter what. I’m sure this exacerbates the ol’ brain fog, but I have found it drives me nuttier if I try to be like my husband and retire at 8:30 and fall asleep at 8:35. It just doesn’t work.

Unplug: Do it for an hour. Do it for a day. Be daring and do it for an entire weekend. It may take a little getting used to, after all, we live connected. But if you look at how we are connected, it’s not in the healthiest of ways. I do see the benefit to being connected, unlike some. Many of us live isolated from the world because we aren’t able to get out and if we did, we don’t have the friends to do it with because we lost out friends when we got sick. Social media is how we stay connected and how we maintain relationships outside of our immediate family. Still, I don’t think any of us can say we haven’t gotten angry at our social media, or been harassed or degraded by some troll. This can have a huge impact on our brain fog because if we are in a tizzy over what someone may have said, or something we’ve read, what little focus we have goes out the proverbial window. Do yourself a favor and try and unplug for at least an hour a day. Listen to your favorite music, read, or partake of your favorite hobby. You’ll be surprised how by giving yourself a little time away from things can really improve your focus.

Multi-tasking, it’s over-rated: This is the reign of the multi-tasker. How to get the most done in the least amount of time, which, to the proponent of multi-tasking, equates to being more efficient. But hit the brakes for one moment and ask yourself a question. Is multi-tasking doing what it claims it can do, for you? Some people thrive on doing eleven different tasks at once. I am guilty of it. I may even live under the illusion that I do well at it. I have often joked that my brain functions like a laptop with ten different tabs open, two are unresponsive and I have Spotify and Pandora playing at the same time. In other words, chaos. I know that when it’s just me and my writing and maybe some instrumental music in the back ground, that is when I perform the best. You can apply this to all parts of your life. If you are running around, trying to do laundry, pick up around the house, get some play time in with your kids in between loads and vacuuming and watching that latest episode on Netflix, you are going to forget in-between, half of what you were trying to do. Streamline your life a little bit and you may find it helps with the fog.

7- minutes to a less foggy day: Exercise is known to boost oxygen and blood flow and therefore boosting your brain power. All it takes is 7 minutes. That’s it. This is not a 30-minute workout condensed into 7 minutes where you feel like you ran the Empire State building 3 times. You do what you can, within your ability and capability, to where you feel like you’re revitalized and call it done. It can be stretches in bed- yes, I mean it, right from your cozy comforter and heating pad. You can sit on the edge of your bed and do some leg lifts, some stretches, anything. I’ve started doing yoga again. I was a yoga instructor. Then, my body failed and I felt like I’d never be able to do it. Then it occurred to me that the whole joy about yoga is doing it for yourself. Not doing it because I want a better physique, or because I want to be able to contort myself into a pretzel. For me and for the pleasure and peace and balance it brings me. So, I started again, and it’s slow, and I hurt but I did it. At my speed and with my modifications and that is my 7 minutes.

Zen your way to less fogginess: Meditation is good for the soul and good for your brain and good for the fogginess. I know, it’s hard. But you don’t have to cartwheel into 20-minute meditation periods. Start with 5 minutes. Seriously. Meditation is about being present and being aware and not about thinking about the casserole you have in the oven while you are meditating. Take some time out, where nothing and no one will disturb you and meditate. There are plenty of books, plenty of places to start with simple meditation. My favorite jumping off point is candle meditation. It gives you focus and you can work on length of time. Do it a few times a week and jot down if you notice differences in your brain fog.

Food Triggers: There is a lot to be said for food that triggers brain fog, however, I have not done enough research to understand who or what the culprit maybe. There are a whole range of auto-immune disorders that can cause brain fog as a symptom and depression can also have the symptom of brain fog, as well as other mental disease. But looking into what and how you eat is important so I’ve included three foods which are guilty in causing or worsening brain fog.

1.)    Gluten: I know, everyone is hatin’ on the gluten, but in all honesty, even if you don’t have celiac disease, gluten can be a huge issue. You see, over time consumption of gluten can lead to low or even high levels of inflammation. This can greatly impact brain functions and one of the symptoms is brain fog. I’m not saying ditch the gluten entirely, but ditching it maybe 50% of the time can make a huge difference in how you feel.

2.)    Refined sugar and carbs: As with gluten, long term and chronic intake of carbs “white flours” and refined sugar and corn syrup, this can lead to glucose problems as well as systemic issues. The yeast over growth can cause symptoms like fatigue and brain fog.

3.)    Caffeine: The dangerous pick me up that we all crave. It can lead to brain fog as you spiral into a habit of more and more caffeine to give you the same pick me up as it did the first time. Ever have a caffeine withdrawal headache? Talk about a bad day… If you are consuming more than 100mg of caffeine a day you should try to break the habit. Look at how much sleep you are getting first off. You are more likely to fall into this vicious cycle if you are not getting at least 7 hours sleep. If you just like the taste of coffee, for instance, try blending caffeine and decaf until you can go completely caffeine free and also try a darker roast for a more satisfying cup.

Chronically Genetic

Ever since I can remember I wanted kids. Growing up as an only child I fantasized about having a large family. I envied my friends who had siblings and my cousins who had dozens of cousins themselves. I had two cousins, who I adored then and still do. Also, I am adopted. I think this, in and of itself, ignited a desire to have children. I wanted to look into the face of another and see myself, or even little traces of myself in the form of similar expressions or shared talents. When I thought of having little girls, I pictured them borrowing my clothes; earrings, sweaters and jeans, because I was going to be that cool mom. I don’t think I ever thought I would quite so literally, share my genes with them but, I wasn’t diagnosed with many of my issues until after I had kids. Not that knowing would have changed my mind about having kids, I just would like to think I would be more prepared.

The reason for my writing this particular post is that my 23 year old daughter was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia and may possibly have rheumatoid arthritis too. I had sent her to my rheumatologist because she and I have had similar issues and since learning from my rheumatologist that some of the surgeries I have had may have been unnecessary, I decided it was in her best interest to see the doctor before having any more surgeries herself. When she got home, it was: “Guess what? You have a fibromyalgia buddy!” I can’t express enough my surprise. I really thought, if anything at all, we might share the RA, but not the fibromyalgia. She explained to me that our doctor also believes she has the RA, but of course we have to wait for lab results.

I spent much of the night doing even more research on RA and the gene link. Sadly, while researchers do think that certain genes may increase your risk of RA, they also don’t consider RA to be a genetic disorder meaning, geneticists can’t calculate your risk of developing RA based on your family history. The story isn’t much different for fibromyalgia. While research so far concludes that fibromyalgia isn’t passed from parents to children, the odds of developing fibromyalgia is much higher in immediate families of people with fibromyalgia than in families without any history of fibromyalgia. The remaining part of my sleepless, evening entailed a growing frustration over how these two illnesses manifest themselves. Primarily, in regards to fibromyalgia because, insomuch as what I have learned, what precipitates this is trauma of some kind (physical or emotional) or an infection. There is no trauma that readily comes to mind, that I can say “Yes! This must be what caused it.” Likewise, there is no illness that comes to mind as a trigger for fibromyalgia. In looking at my own life, I have had both trauma and infection that I could choose from as culprit for this illness and so for my daughter, all I can come up with is hereditary.

In some ways I wish genetics had nothing to do with it because I feel like I am somehow responsible for it. In other ways I hope it is genetic because, if the medical community can look into families with a history of fibromyalgia, maybe it will help in the development of a cure for it or at least an effective medicine. I know many other disease/illness studies have benefited from being able to trace family history and the hereditary nature of it. At the same time I don’t think it should take something like hereditary to bring awareness to a certain disease, however I do know that unless there is awareness people do not like to open their purse’s to donate unless they have certain facts and I certainly don’t have hard feelings about it because none of us can afford to give even small amounts, to every organization in need of it.

As for RA, it seems gene factors account for 50% of the risk in developing RA though the cause of RA is still, ultimately unknown. Everything from genetic, hormonal, immunologic and infectious factors may play a role. Too, it would seem that socioeconomic, psychological, and lifestyle factors such as tobacco use, may have an influence in the development of the disease as well as the progression. I really hope that there is an eventual concrete cause for this disease. Though I am at a loss as to between RA and fibromyalgia, which might be the worst, they both deserve more research and more funding.

I hope my daughter has a better outcome. I think that even if the biologics work to manage my RA that there has been significant damage done already and because I still have the fibromyalgia, which there is not only no known cure, but no known effective treatment that works for everyone, that the future doesn’t look as bright. I’ve already watched while these illnesses have stolen a tremendous amount of my life from me; I am not prepared at all to watch it steal things away from my daughter while she is still so young and vibrant. There are many young men and women who have one or both of these illnesses. I think they are remarkable and brave for pushing past it and going on with their lives. I think it is natural for me not to want my daughter to live in pain, but I do know for a fact that she would not let it stop her either and she hasn’t.

I know that I did not give this to my daughter, or any of my daughters, in the event more of them develop this too. I simply feel that as a mother you bear a certain amount of guilt when your child gets sick or develops an illness such as these, where it is likely to affect them for the rest of their life. Also, there is the inherent desire to protect your children from all bad things. I know it’s not rational, but children are the most important and precious thing we have in our lives.

The Injustice of Multiple Chronic Issues

Dealing with one chronic issue is enough, but many of us struggle with two or more chronic issues. I am one of those people and it often feels overwhelming. It can also make a situation where you are already wondering, “Why me?” feel even more despairing. It can also make some people more inclined to feel as though their situation is somehow worse than the person only dealing with one or even two issues. I have seen this on many social media groups for chronic illness/pain and have watched as people from both sides, if you will, and also male and female, be reduced to this childish argument over who hurts more or who is in worse shape. I am here to tell you that we’re all in the same boat of injustice, where we are the lucky winners of chronic illness/pain for probably, a lifetime. It does absolutely no good to anyone, to argue about it.

The Snowball Effect of Chronic Illness

The majority of my life I have dealt with some chronic conditions, like asthma and bipolar, as I shared with you in my previous post, Chronic Pain Un-Filtered. However, these issues were, for the most part, well controlled and it never weighed on me the way my current situation does. In the beginning, what started out as hip and back pain seemed to snowball into this overwhelming list of issues that was accompanied by an even bigger list of medications. I remember distinctly feeling like “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” I felt like I was a relatively good person in the grand scheme of things and actually contemplated some reasons for my ill-health as my not being Christian or having neglected myself over the years with diet and exercise. But these are no more valid reasons for why I have some of these chronic issues than it would be to say that hurricane Harvey was the result of people’s diminished belief in God or some decline in morals over the years. I am not altogether certain why I have so many chronic health issues, but I do and what is important for my future health is not to place blame on myself and something I failed to do, but try to do things which will improve my quality of life for the future.

My Chronic Illness is Worse than Yours

I’m sure when you read this you will hear how silly this is but I think some of us and me included, have felt like this at one time or another. Now to be fair, there are some chronic issues that are worse. They can inflict more pain in someone than another person or require far more hospital visits or doctor visits, but even pain is relative and while one person may feel pain on a 3 level, another person might feel the same as a 7 level. Which then only leaves the argument of doctors and hospital visits, and because there are multiple chronic issues going on, you have the potential for all sorts of problems. Medication interactions that might be bad, flares that can stress on the body of a patient with multiple chronic illnesses and which might wreak havoc with other issues. Ultimately, this argument is moot. Even though we might share one, two or three chronic conditions, we are not the same. Which is why one treatment may work for your friend who has the same chronic illness but may not work on you. I think it is imperative for us to stick together. In solidarity, we have a better chance at bringing to light chronic issues and perhaps encouraging even more research. In solidarity on social media and groups for people with chronic issues, we can show one another support and raise each other’s spirits rather than breaking them down.

Moving Beyond the Personal Injustice

I want to stress here that we are all human. There are going to be days when we feel angry and sad and betrayed by our bodies. There is no getting around that and I am not here on some high horse to say that I never feel like it is unfair that I have multiple chronic issues. I probably feel that way at least once a week and maybe more when it gets really bad. But the important thing is to recognize it and give you reasons to get past it. No one ever said life was easy. No one ever said it was going to be sun-shine and roses all the time. I think the very nature of being human is very, very difficult and we are always going to find ourselves in difficult situations where our spirit and our ability to be compassionate are put to the test. I think what is important is that we strive to keep going even when we feel diminished and defeated and that we try to extend our compassion and understanding to those going through similar things. I also feel that when we do these things we feel the effects just as readily as when you give someone a hug and it makes you feel better too.

The Inbetween


So my intrepid warriors, it’s clear I have diverted a little bit from the path, but I promise you I am getting back to it. Those who may not have read the beginning pages, or the first fewblig posts may not know, but part of my mission statement and hence my blog site name, includes food and using food to heal. This is still very important to me! I’ve been diverted from plans, however, because the beginning conceptions I had for alternative diet were pushed to the sidelines because of my doctors advice. I am in the stages of research at the moment. Trying to best discover what might work best for me and my family. The nature of fibromyalgia and the exhaustion it presents makes me leery of going too radical because I’m in no shape to make two different meals and I am never guaranteed to have help making dinner so.. I have to think some more, try out a few different ideas and then I will blog about the experience. I’m giving myself a deadline of October. I hope you can have a bit more patience with me and in the meantime I will still be blogging about chronic pain and chronic illness! 

Much thanks!